It is very difficult to understand women. Sometime their actions and behavior seems completely illogical. If you ever try to understand them then you will only end up getting headaches.
In this website you are going to discover some advice for how to get your ex girlfriend back. However, my advice will only work if you work on them. If you just read and don’t try to apply them then you will never able to win your ex girlfriend back.
The advice you will receive from me is contrary to what to receive from your mom and best friends. However, they surely work. These advice and strategies based on female psychology and scientific principles.
I will try my best to keep this guide on how to get her back as short as possible. I don’t want to waste your time so this is why I will only explain necessary topic in detail and remove the irrelevant stuff.
Once you done reading from this website I recommend you to read Michael Fiore’s Text Your Ex Back as well. This is because Michael Fiore has provided great insight about female mind that will stop you from getting dump. Additionally, you will find out why your ex girlfriend suddenly loss attraction from you.
Ok let’s start…
Step #1 – Understanding Female Attraction:
Get ready as in this step you will find ultimate reason why your girlfriend left you.
Let you tell you one very important thing …
When you meet with your ex girlfriend very first time there were some psychological factors that attract her. Your behavior showed some attractive traits that attract your ex girlfriend first time and it is same your behavior that showed unattractive traits which make your ex girlfriend to break relationship with you.
Men usually attract with the physical beauty of the women but women usually attract with traits. Some traits attract them and some traits repel them. Initially, your attractive traits bring your girlfriend closer to you but as relationship progress you start showing some unattractive traits that push her far from you.
Here is the list of unattractive traits:
If you ask me what is the #1 attraction killer in the relationship then I would say it is INSECURITY. Yes! It is insecurity that make your girlfriend to leave you. You certainly showed insecurity that kills all attraction in the relationship.
How insecurity builds up in the relationship?
It comes from one of the factors that I defined below:
A jealous boyfriend is very unattractive boyfriend indeed. By showing your jealousy to your girlfriend you are showing ‘you are not worthy for her’.
I saw many boyfriends that get pissed when their girlfriend talks about other men or just hangs out with other men. Men that show jealousy look ridiculous to women and this is where women start losing attraction.
When your girlfriend talks about other men you have to create the mindset like ‘other men make you look good’ and allow her to speak about other men. This is the best way to stop being jealous.
Boyfriend who puts handcuffed to his girlfriend and don’t allow her to hang out with her friends is very unattractive. By controlling your girlfriend way too much you feel down in your deep heart and think you don’t have high value than your girlfriend.
Women hate those men that want to control them. They repel against those men who try to control them. Just like we used to repel against our parents when they put unnecessary boundaries.
Not Valuing Yourself:
An attractive man always values himself as much as he values his girlfriend. Any girlfriend loses attraction from her boyfriend when he puts her needs above all.
I personally saw many guys who don’t value themselves and only want to fulfill the needs of their girlfriends.
If you don’t want your relationship to lose its attraction then you have to value yourself as much as you value your girlfriend. No exception.
Why most women attract to jerks? It is all because they value themselves. This doesn’t mean you also have to become jerk. You don’t have to become jerk instead you should adopt qualities of jerks that attract women.
Big Approval Seekers:
Getting too much approval from girlfriend is also very unattractive. Unattractive men seek validation and approval from their girlfriend and this is why they fail to keep attraction in their relationship for long time.
Did you ask one of these questions from your girlfriend?
- Am I looking good in this shirt?
- Do I perform well in bed?
- Do I have a good body shape?
- Is my dick big enough to satisfy you?
You have to do extra work on understanding what approval seeking is. The moment you started seeking approval from your girlfriend in the relationship is the moment attraction starts disappearing from your relationship.
Spending too much time with your girlfriend and not spending time with your friends and family is also one of the sign for clinginess that kills the attraction. Diamonds are rare that is why people pay thousands of dollars to buy them. Once people start getting diamonds from the every side of their home they will stop paying huge money for diamonds.
You have to sit in the room alone and think where you saw signs of clinginess to your girlfriend.
Just like they are some traits that repel women similarly there are some attractive traits that attract women. Till now, I have discovered some facts about you that:
- You are attractive because you able to attract girlfriend in the past and you able to keep your relationship for such a long time.
- You are ready to make change in your life and want to bring your ex girlfriend back to you that is why you came here searching for how to get your ex girlfriend back when she has moved on.
Now let’s look on some attractive traits that attract women:
Having leadership qualities and having a plan is important to keep attraction in the relationship. Basically women attract to those men who display this quality. Did your girlfriend ever asked, “What is the plan for dinner tonight?” and you replied “I don’t have any plan… Where you like to go for dinner?” This is the attraction killer.
Women are biologically attract to men that have leadership qualities. Saying you have no plan is unattractive. If your girlfriend loses attraction then don’t blame her, it is basically in their DNA to follow men that lead them.
Women usually attract to jerks because they show some qualities that attract them and confidence is one of them. You don’t have to become jerk instead you have to adopt attractive qualities that attract women.
Now it is important for you to know the difference between confidence and arrogance. Arrogance is sort of fake confidence and don’t try to show your fake confidence to your girlfriend. Females are naturally tried to spot fake confidence from miles away. Try to build confidence that attract women
No women want doormat man as a relationship partner. It is important for you to have self-assurance on your own beliefs and opinions.
I saw many boys who change their opinions, likes, dislikes, hobbies, style etc just to impress his girlfriend. They think by doing so their girlfriends will like them that is completely wrong concept.
It is important to keep in mind that girls don’t want puppy dog as their relationship partner in fact they want men who has his own opinions, hobbies, likes and dislikes.
Someone rightly said, “Having no purpose in life is not a life itself”. Women are naturally attract to those men that have some purpose in their own life.
We men naturally don’t attract to those girls that show power and ambition (we view them as thread). After getting into the relationship most guys lost their purpose and make their girlfriend only purpose of their life.
You may be thinking what purpose is exactly. Purpose is NOT like making morning breakfast, serving tea to your girlfriend, helping her in washing clothes etc. A true purpose men can have in his life is:
- Setting a financial goal to live life with financial freedom
- Setting a goal to re-shape his body (either is it about losing fat or getting ripped)
- Making a plan to train for upcoming marathon event
- Working hard to win life-changing contract
Men with no purpose look highly unattractive. You made a mistake by making your girlfriend as the only purpose of your life. Girls don’t want their boyfriends to have a sole purpose in their life just to please her. If you have make this mistake now it is time to set new goal for your life and try to achieve it.
Role of Man in The Relationship:
There is one very crucial thing that most men don’t want to accept. We are slowly getting into feminine role and women are getting into masculine role. It doesn’t matter how far we as society has progressed, women still and always attract by dominant man that showed them attractive traits that we discussed above.
Women never want to control the relationship. They still want her man to take decision and holding all cards. Always remember, “One who care least controls the relationship”
If you look at your current situation then it is your ex girlfriend that care least and holding all cards. It is you that who keeps on searching how to get your ex girl back. If you want to control your relationship then you have to care least. Accept it and work on techniques (I will mention later) to reverse it.
Step #2 – Start With No Contact:
After relationship breakup you are not in best condition to contact your ex. Therefore, it is better to stop contacting your ex in all ways. Don’t message her on Facebook. Just cut off all ways to communicate her. Instead of wasting your time in finding about her you should invest your time in learning about how to get your ex back.
I recommend you to go No contact with your ex girlfriend for at least 4 weeks. It is fine if your ex girlfriend contacts you. By going no contact with your ex girlfriend you will achieve three things:
1st – It will help you to avoid looking needy and insecure. As you already know, neediness and insecurity are biggest attraction killers so it is better to avoid displaying these two unattractive qualities.
2nd – It will create ‘fear of loss’ in your ex girlfriend’s mind. Your girlfriend will start thinking why he is not contacting me. She may start giving second-guessing to her decision for not contacting you and once she gets these feelings you will get good chance to get her back.
3rd – Most importantly it will give you time to learn more about how to get your ex-girlfriend back. You can gather valuable info from this website and by reading Michael Fiore’s Text Your Ex Back.
It doesn’t matter how hard you try when you are with your ex girlfriend you are sub-communicating your neediness to her. Women are experts in picking up non-verbal communication. Even if you don’t say, they still pick your feeling that you are desperate to have her in your life.
Most of this guide will show you how to remove these needy and desperate feelings from your body. Even if you are feeling horrible inside, you have to act like you are completely okay with your breakup.
Don’t Become Her Supporting Hero
After a breakup, girls want help from their ex-boyfriend to recover from painful feelings of a breakup. You have to make sure not to become her supporting hero. You have to let her heal herself. When you are not around her, she has to feel the reality without you.
I know you desperately want to become closer to her by helping her in recovering from breakup feelings but remember if you do this you will ONLY helping her in healing process rather than healing yours.
If She Contacts You:
It is very likely that she will contact you in these No-Contact days, especially if you follow my plan exactly. She will start feeling ‘fear of loss’ and start placing your value once again. It will be her natural instinct to contact you once again.
If this happens, this will be a superb sign for your relationship. However, this is not necessary. If your ex-girlfriend contacts you, things will become a lot easier for you.
When you pick her call, number one rule is, don’t be angry, depress or rude to her. If she calls you or visits your workplace, then make sure to act happy and cheerful. Acting this way will demonstrate your higher value. Again, this will increase her ‘fear of loss’ feeling and make you look like you have moved on.
When She Contacts You:
- Make sure you keep conversation short
- Let her lead the conversation
- Act happy and don’t make her feel like you are desperate
- End this conversation first, if it’s phone call then end in 15 minutes. Say something like, “I am going out with my friend, and I will call later.”
- Take time and call her back. Don’t eager to call her. Make sure you wait for a day or half a day.
- If you meet with her someplace then act cheerful and end your conversation with something like, “It was nice talking with you, but I have to do ______”
‘No Contact’ doesn’t mean your ex-girlfriend can’t call you. If she calls you, then this is an excellent thing for you. But make sure during No contact you don’t have to initiate contact, she should be one initiating the contact.
Here Is What Not to Do:
- Act Angry and Depress
- Telling her how many women are sleeping with you
- Talking anything about relationship
- Asking if she is dating or sleeping with someone else
- Begging her to give another chance to the relationship
No Contact is a powerful technique. If you follow it correctly as I mentioned then chances are you will get a call from your ex-girlfriend. Many of my students utilize this method, and many of them received a call from their ex-girlfriends. No Contact forces your ex to realize your value.
I again want to mention it is important to act happy, cheerful and calm when talking with your ex-girlfriend. Let the conversation unfold and allow her to lead the conversation. If she is bringing the relationship into the conversation, then it is fine to enter in the line of discussion but make sure you are not the one who is bringing it up.
How Long Should I Wait Before Contacting Her?
Keep In mind,
Four Weeks Is The Peak Of Loneliness
I recommend you to follow NO Contact for at least four weeks because after four weeks your ex girlfriend is most vulnerable and lonely. It would take a lot of efforts from your side for not to contact her but if you stick to the plan, she will be one who will contact you. If she doesn’t contact you, don’t worry it is still completely fine.
After following No Contact for four weeks, it is time to communicate with her. She will be lonely and have all good memories of her past relationship. She will be thinking about good times you both have spent together in the past. The balance of power will be on your side, and she will be insecure while you are not.
If She Doesn’t Contact You
Once four weeks of No Contact is complete you can now contact her at this point. In the majority of cases, she will contact but if she doesn’t then it is safe to call her now. However, make sure you have waited for minimum four weeks. Sometimes you have to wait longer than this depending on how needy and desperate you behave during your breakup.
If you contact her, talk with her like an old friend. Don’t feel desperate and don’t show any hint of neediness from your side. Act like you are completely fine and finally realize breakup was the best thing happened to you.
I recommend you to tell her that breakup was the best thing, but you realize it would be such a shame to throw away such a great friendship like this. It is important to keep a good vibe of old friends in your conversation.
Regardless of whether she contacts you or you contact her, you have to sneak in and present her your new, confidence and changed version. You will have to use your position as a friend to build attraction.
What If No Contact Is Not Possible?
What to do if you stuck in the situation where ‘no contact’ with your ex girlfriend is not feasible like working together, having kids or living together?
In these cases, your behavior determines your success in getting your ex-girlfriend back. You simply can’t ignore your ex girlfriend every time neither you always keep your angry face and don’t talk with her.
In such situations, you have to keep your contact with your ex-girlfriend at very minimum. If you are living together, make sure you spend a lot of time with your friends. However, don’t bring any woman into the house to make your ex girlfriend jealous. Your ex-girlfriend will also bring a new guy at home, and it will hurt you only.
You have to make sure your ex-girlfriend initiate contact with you. However, don’t make her look like you are ignoring her. Always be cheerful and happy and act like you are completely okay with the breakup. Let her lead the conversation and put in most of the work when talking with her.
Step #3 – Push/Pull Technique:
Many relationship experts don’t tell you but Push/Pull technique is one of the best ways to getting your girl back. This technique is based on notion that the thing you want, is the thing you can’t get. Currently you are feeling you can’t get your ex girlfriend which is driving you insane. It is common for human behavior.
If you break the actions of individuals then you will find either they are pulling or pushing someone. To show interest they ‘pull’ it and to show disinterest they ‘push’ it. When any girl rejects us, we naturally want her back and fill the gap. This is common especially in romantic relationship.
After breakup you want your ex girlfriend in your life but instead of pushing her away, you are actually pulling her. By pulling your ex girlfriend you are actually putting more pressure on her. She will start thinking she can get you anytime but she will never want you.
One of the greatest ways to push her to bring it in your life is going no contact with her. In these 4 weeks of no contact, you are pushing her that will work in your favor.
However, you have to understand just like pulling too much can take far away similarly pushing too much can also take her away. Since you want to win back your ex that is reason you have to keep balance between interest and disinterest.
Step #4 – Let Your Girlfriend Go / Accept Your Breakup:
If you are really want to win a girl back then all you have to do is to accept your breakup and let your girlfriend go. This is very crucial step for how to get your ex girl back and it may be difficult for you. But you have to let your ex girlfriend go to pull her back again in your life.
It may seems very difficult for you but with the help of my 5-step action plan it can somehow reduce your pain. Keep in mind you have to push your ex girlfriend to bring her closer to you. It also helps you to avoid validation seeking behavior. I just can’t explain the importance of this step enough. Just follow my 5-step plan.
1st Step: Take a piece of paper NOW (Yes now) and write contact information of your ex girlfriend
2nd Step: Now delete her from all messaging service such as WhatsApp, Viber etc. The only exception is don’t delete her from your Facebook but don’t view her profile. You can also temporary shutdown notification from her in your Facebook profile.
3rd Step: Collect all physical objects like Teddy Bear, Gift set, necklace, bangles etc and put them into a box. Put box somewhere in your home where you don’t go often or place that is difficult to reach without someone help.
4th Step: Try to remove all memories of your ex girlfriend from your mind. You can do this by fantasizing yourself in bed with someone other beautiful girl. If you still getting memories of your ex girlfriend then think about something that give you more pleasure like having million dollars, driving Ferrari etc.
5th Step: Think about all negative things that your ex girlfriend did with you. After breakup your mind is in selective mode where you only getting positive memories you spend with your ex girlfriend. It will take few weeks but you have to switch off this selective mode and think all bad memories.
Step #5 – Getting Back In Your Life Again
If you want to win your ex girl back in your life then you have to show her that you don’t need her. Same push/pull technique applies here. You have big opportunity to get back into your life once again by updating yourself.
By getting in your life again you are actually showing to your ex girlfriend that you are actually healing yourself. By healing and moving on, you are creating many attraction traits in your personality that will attract your ex girlfriend back once again.
Many things you can do to bring your self-confidence back and dating other women is one of them. Many men will not agree but I personally think dating other women is great self-confidence booster.
You have the quality to attract women as you attract your ex girlfriend first time. You are in state of mind where you don’t want to try. Instead of searching about how to win her back, just give a try and you will surely feel good.
You can find lot of single girls in coffee shops, restaurants from which you can ask for date. Don’t lose hope if one or two reject your proposal. Now the key is to don’t take these dates seriously.
Although dating other women can help you in great way but it is not necessary step. It is ok if you don’t find any girl for dating. There are many other ways such as hanging out with your friends, working out in GYM, discovering new places in your city etc that can help you in moving on.
It doesn’t matter what method you choose to get in your life back, don’t forget to take digital pictures. Take lot of digital pictures and put them as your profile picture in instant messaging services like Skype, Whatsapp, Viber etc. Don’t forget to post these pictures in your Facebook page as well.
Step #6 – Look Good:
Before the big meet up I recommend you to first look good. It doesn’t matter how much you keep yourself updated with latest fashion, it is always necessary to update your look before planning for big meet up with your ex girlfriend.
It is always necessary to look fresh because your girlfriend will have to impress with your look after such a long time. I am not saying you have to completely change yourself for a woman. However, having new clothes will give you fresh look and boost your self-confidence as well.
As I already mentioned, working out is quite important as it will improve your overall look and boost your confidence as well. It is very important to have good confidence when meeting up with your ex girlfriend after long time.
There are many magazines and internet websites from where you can get latest fashion tips. Try to use them and look fresh. There is big difference between naturally good looking and looking good. Even if you are not naturally good looking but still you can impress any woman by looking good.
Step #7 – The Big Meet Up:
After completing previous six steps of how to get back with your ex, now it is time for the most important step that is “The Big Meet Up”.
It is important to don’t think this meet up as your date with your ex girlfriend. You only have to meet with your ex girlfriend to see where things are going. Don’t put pressure on her to commit with you.
You have to remain calm all the time. Try your best to don’t get angry and depressed. Best way to keep anger away from you is avoid getting in arguments and disagreements. Most of the time arguments and disagreements come in conversation because of previous relationship.
It is good to avoid talking about previous relationship and don’t put blame of previous breakup on your ex girlfriend. This will raise her defense level and it may be possible your meet up ends up on arguments and disagreements that you never want.
I would like to congratulate you for completing this guide on how to get an ex back. Now you have knowledge and clear steps that will help you in getting your ex girlfriend back.
Another than this, I recommend you to read Michael Fiore’s Text Your Ex Back because it is one of the powerful guides ever written on ex back topic. It will show you why your relationship goes south and how you can bring your ex girlfriend back with the help of text messages.
There is no need to search how to get your ex girlfriend back because each and every thing that proven to work in available in this website. All you have to do is to just to follow them and apply them.
I wish you best luck… Thanks
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